Because the album is on perpetual repeat in my car..

( 'Say Something' )

Sam Raimi To Do 'Evil Dead 4'

I think I just peed a little.

Son of a bitch. George Carlin is dead.

I can't even begin to express how much that sucks.

One of my faves..

Fantastic. Get ready for the forthcoming US led attack on Iran.

Let's watch birds instead.

Dear Honda,

When you send me emails regarding EXCLUSIVE BUY BACK PROGRAMS FEATURING 110% PERCENT MARKET VALUE FOR MY VEHICLE LIMITED WEEKEND OFFER, try not to send me one every month, and I'm not an idiot, I know you want my car so I can purchase another one and resume my American duty of having car payments. I paid off my car in it's entirety in 5 months. I like it this way. Bugger off. Thank you, you slimy bastards.

Signed,
-Car Owner.

Well that just made my day.

Brilliant.

One of the advantages of having BBQs at Englishman's homes is you get to play cricket and football (soccer) while there.

So this is the end of my first week without work.

I'm sequestered inside today, partly because of the weather, but I'm putting my time to what I feel is good use, as I have been all week. At some point, I stopped reading. I stopped watching films. I stopped going out to enjoy good weather. The further I get away from that routine the more I get back to my self and I only expect this will continue as I move on and move forward.

I have so many unfinished books lying about my room, so many films available on netflix I've thought about but not watched, and always, my enduring lifeblood, music, unlistened to for so long, now being played again.

I picked up A Confederancy of Dunces yesterday, hiding in a pile of books near my door, and started it again from page 1. (I think I read 150 pages or so a year ago.) Instant watching films on Netflix the past few days (In Cold Blood, Them, and Pan's Labyrinth), and spending as much time as I can outside in the sun, either working in the yard, or looking up at the sky.

We'll see where this leads me, but I feel like before any possibilities are going to open up for me, I need to do what I can to drive the poison of the last few years out of my system, to open up completely, find direction, and go there.

Sooo, I haven't posted in a while. I sorry.

I quit my job today. It was a long time coming, and despite having really nothing lined up and an entirely open future, it's a good thing, whatever happens.

Unfortunately I don't have a great deal of support from parents, other than the basics (you know, food, shelter, laundry), but I'm not surprised and it's nothing new. Both of them have had hard lives in their own way and are allowed to look out for themselves as anyone would. Beyond 18, they have zero responsibility for what I do or don't do. I get it. I'm 30 and apart from several trips to California, and one abroad to London (and various other places in the distant past) haven't done or experienced much of anything I would enjoy bringing up in polite conversation. I take responsibility for that. I've made a lot of progress and learned a lot after so many mistakes, but apart from little things, haven't made many big steps. I've been afraid, or unsure, or shy, and not confident, and ignored advice by friends and acquaintances time and again for no concrete reason in particular. I've been a bad person. I started off being mistreated and misunderstood, and followed that up by mistreating and misunderstanding myself. It's easy to do when you feel like I've hit a bottom, no one cares or really understands, and nothing is going to get me out of it. I think, in a way, I have a part of me that would rather go down in flames and prove myself correct than to do what it takes to make it and have a life. I understand that. Soon the test will come and I'll see what direction I take. I'll see what I'm made of. I'm scared, but everyone goes through this, I guess. I'm just a bit late. Hopefully not too late..

Yeah, so continuing on from the last post..

I hopped back on the A going uptown to Penn Station and sat across from an older black man who appeared to be talking to himself. Having had many, many experiences in NYC, this is completely normal to me, so I ignored him at first. But then I started listening, and watching. He looked troubled. He was saying things like 'take a chance' and 'you never know.' 'Pretty girl. You never know.' Like he had a golden opportunity to do something and failed. He had such a pained look on his face. Over and over again.. take a chance, you never know. You never know, you never know. I made eye contact, right before my stop, and he looked at me, and asked 'Right?' Right? I nodded yes.

I got off at the 34th St. station and walked upstairs to Penn. It was about a quarter to midnight with the last train home about an hour away. I bought my ticket and leaned against a column in front of the board with all the destinations, times and track numbers. It wasn't working, so there lots of announcements about that and about arriving and departing trains. I was texting a bit to pass the time and noticed a man and a woman in front of me. The man was in a suit and the woman was wearing one of the more hideous pairs of pants I'd ever seen. They were faded jeans and starting about mid-hip it began to stripe non-faded with faded all the way down to the ankle. They were pants you might expect a 10 year old girl to wear, but here she was with suit, and they were both drinking beer from paper bags. Out of the corner of my eye, while I was looking at my phone, I noticed a girl walk between me and them and stand next to me, leaning against the same column. The couple in question walked away in front of us, and after a few seconds I half-turned to this girl and inquired about the sanity of this girl and her pants. She agreed. While I was trying to think of something else to say, there was announcement and when I turned back she was already walking away and telling me goodbye as her train was coming in on the track down the stairs just in front of us. While I thought about that man and my own missed opportunity, I realized her train was my train. I scampered down the steps after her, and we started talking. I asked her where she lived, worked, etc. The usual questions. She works in advertising. I cringed. But she hates it. And she hates her boss. We immediately bonded on that front and when the train arrived sat together and continued talking. I knew we didn't have much time, as she lives in Baldwin (one stop from Rockville Centre Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind kids) and I had to switch trains in Jamaica, so I made sure I got her number before I was up the next morning regretting I hadn't. (Take a chance.. you never know.) I let a little loose about my situation, and she was really nice and tried giving advice and pushing me in the right direction, a direction I know I need to go in. Just nice to hear it from someone not a current friend, or a family member, you know? Debating whether or not I'll ever use her number (probably not, she lives too far away), but I kind of re-learned a lot of things about myself last night I had forgotten, and the way things were going lately, it's a life saver. It really is.

(And it's after 2am and I'm just now getting tired because I spent all day in bed. I drank for about four and a half hours straight during that show and forgot to drink water before I collapsed at 3:30. Really annoying headache all day. My train from Jamaica was way the f late. I awoke for work and decided there was just no way.)

( The rats in NYC subways are just as rotund as I remember. )

So, let me try and write something about last night before I forget details I'll want to remember. I traveled into Manhattan to see Matt Good. I've mentioned him before, but he's Canadian and not particularly well known here but he's right up there along with my favorite artists ever. Apparently he's done a few shows round these parts in the past, but for whatever reason, I didn't know about them. I've been a fan for around 10 or 11 years, so getting to see him perform was really kind of a special thing.

All the travel details aside (the trains were packed - Ranger game last night as well), I made it to the venue shortly after it opened at 7, so I had plenty of time to check it out and soak it in, having not been there before. Very cool place. Intimate, with tables on either side, two bars, and a balcony with more tables. I walked in for a bit, walked around, and asked for a table. After a few minutes a few more people were sat at my table. Apparently they intermingle everyone at shows. It was a little weird sitting with strangers while I drank my beer and they ate, but they were nice (and for the most part, Canadian). I learned they were actually there for the opening act, who they knew personally. A few people came by and said hello to them, one of which was apparently her, which I realized when she went on stage at 9. By that time, the people around me had moved down to the stage area and I had the table all to myself, but three others were seated next to me and made my acquaintance pretty quickly. They were around my age, two girls and a guy, husband/wife, from New Jersey. The wife talked and talked, which was okay, because I was probably on my third or fourth beer that by point and found her nothing but entertaining. The opening act wasn't bad at all. Just a girl and a piano. Her between song banter was really pretty funny, including the story about Dave Gahan at Best Buy, whom she told she does a version of his song better than him. (She then played 'Walking In My Shoes.' Not better, but not bad either.) She played for about 45 minutes, and soon they were setting up for Matt.

Not a whole lot needs to be done for a man and a guitar, so he was on by 10 and I was in my glory. The Jersey wife and I looked at each other excited as schoolgirls and got to see this amazing show. Matt talked quite a bit between songs, and had the entire audience laughing. He talked about possibly doing an album consisting entirely of songs about unicorns, or one about the sexual tensions between Lord of the Rings characters. hehe.

Pretty much the best show ever. Entirely what I expected and more, and being old and cranky about having to stand for hours on end at concerts, getting to sit and drink the entire time and enjoy music I love was pretty fantastic. One of the ladies from the group I originally was paired with accidentally left her coat on the chair I was sitting in, so she stopped by during the show and asked if I'd watch it. I did, and saw her after the show and exchanged pleasantries. I shook the hands of the Jerseyans, and made my way to the bathroom first, then the subway.

I think I'll continue this in a new post..

So our governor Eliot Spitzer is involved in a bit of a scandal. If he resigns, this man assume the position.

I always find it amazing when breaking news finds itself into wikipedia almost immediately. In his wiki already:

'Paterson would become the first black governor of New York, and the first blind governor in the United States, in accordance with New York law, if current Governor Spitzer resigns following the Emperor Club prostitution scandal.'

I think it's weird I was actually having a conversation today about the Teapot Dome scandal with my septagenarian friend. (I forget why for, but I know I was ranting about alternative energy.. again.) (I also had to look it up because I think we learned about it when I was 14.)

Me (bournisien) purchaseded rename token (because I haven't been wasting enough $ lately).

Me back to original LJ name.

Me sleep now.

Duh moment of the day:

Less Television and Computer Gaming May Keep Children Slimmer

You think?

K, I was little reticent at first, but I agree with jaso.

garfield minus garfield

Pretty much the greatest idea ever.

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be? So, here's how it works:
1. Open your music library.
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press Play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the Next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
7. Don't skip songs.

I was tempted to cheat, but didn't, and I'm doing this at work since I don't have all my songs at home at the moment due to hard drive breakage, but here's what I came up with:

(1) Opening credits: 'Our Frank' - Morrissey
(2) Waking up: 'Exile' - Gary Numan
(3)First day at school: 'Jerk-Off' - Tool
(4) Fight song: 'No Dark Things' - Echo & The Bunnymen
(5) First Date: 'Make Love' - Daft Punk (Apparently I work fast.)
(6) Breaking up: 'Hollow Hills' - Bauhaus
(7) Happiness: 'Reel Ten' - The Plugz
(8) Life is okay: 'Pale Clouded White' - Cocteau Twins
(9) Mental breakdown: 'I'm Still In Love With You' - Al Green (So true.)
(10) Driving: 'Yellow Cake' - Ministry
(11) Flashback: 'Splish Splash' - Bobby Darin
(12) Getting back together: 'P.S. Goodbye' - The Chameleons
(13) Prom: 'It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)' - Bob Dylan
(14) Graduation: 'Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl' - Broken Social Scene (Nice!)
(15) Wedding: 'Malpractice' - Faith No More
(16) Honeymoon: 'Laugh The World Away' - Mission of Burma
(17) Birth of a child: 'Outside The Trains Don't Run On Time' - Gang of Four
(18) Final battle: 'My Wave' - Soundgarden
(19) Death scene: 'Black Wave' - The Shins
(20) Funeral song: 'Drive My Car' - The Beatles
(21) End credits: 'Highway 61 Revisited' - Bob Dylan

It's so silly I don't have today off, and have to work in.. that. (Not literally, there'll be a roof involved, but still.) At least it's warm, but I'd much rather crawl back in bed 'til noonish. Blech.